Each of these three ways-of-seeing I have done poorly, to sometimes well. As of ‘now’ the fullness of truth they offer has certainly not a constant in my life.
It is because of the third thing that Silence wins, because it was in this silent sit that I was present with myself, as uncomfortable as that was and saw this reality- as hope-filled as it is.
Variations of this idea are ubiquitous and above, I add my own to the ether-mix.
Yesterday new acquaintance remarked, “No, not bad at all. Sounds to me like you are returning to yourself, coming back to who you were as a young person before formalism and religious organization overwhelmed yet with the benefit of your lived experience in the intervening decades.”
For one, I’d like to be that kind of listener.
For two, he’s right.
For three, it was a wonder to hear a relative stranger reflect back to me exactly what my heart has been saying for the past year.
When a bad is a good. A ‘bad’ shows me my own weakness, or it can when filtered by meditation/mindfulness/prayer. As I acknowledge the ‘fault’ as my own and not that of the other, who likely has no idea a ‘fault’ has happened, things begin to change for the better.
Good for Distraction when it comes knocking on meditation’s precious silence because Distraction is one of our guides, wooing us to refocus, calling us toward true silence, a real quiet-of-being where hope and light and poetry are born and flow out to others.
Why keep my practice in the closet? Bring the silence into shared space where it can be distracted; good.
What is it, silence? Some say it’s elusive. I suffer from tinnitus, 24-7/365. Even when I sit in silence it isn’t actually “silent”. Then there’s the constant chatter-static of the mind. All the more reason to breathe, acknowledge and let it go. Most everyone suffers to one degree or another from the lack of space for silence in our post-post modern world.
And yet, we can encounter silence. Certainly that is what this 365 day practice is about for me.
Some say silence is prayer. Some say silence is where poetry is born even that silence is a poetry itself. I think it both are true and especially as they happen in the same moment of awareness.
Freedom attracts wherever it appears…when we meet a truly free person there are no expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our own freedom. – Henri Nouwen
When we are free, we are free to allow others to be free and we are can freely receive them for who the truly are. Little wonder people are attracted to people who are free.
We are always, beginning. For too long I separated two things which give me life, unnecessarily setting them in opposition and unwittingly causing the very gifts that would bring me life, to drain me of it.
Two gifts; silence/prayer and drawing.
As a child I lost myself in the bliss of drawing, especially when young enough to be unaware or unconcerned with drawing well, when I didn’t draw to make good drawings but drew for the love of drawing. O, thriving-life.
I knew nothing then of meditation/mindfulness/prayer but I did know I enjoyed silence and space to just be and if I did not then know the two could be one I certainly experienced them as one.
How did the unnecessary divide happen? How did I navigate that divide (not well)? How am I mending that rift with the help of Insight Timer? I’ll get to that.
Thanks to the ones who liked the first post and who said, yes, do tell.
P.S. Grateful for // a working furnace on another cold Spring day / love made before the day begins / creating space for silence.
How is it we so often fail to do the very thing(s) we intuitively know bring us life? Silly beings. So, an interior adventure begins.
Five days ago I allowed myself to bring mindful drawing into my silent meditation time. Like body and soul, no separation between meditation and drawing mindfully.
I’ll share more about how that happens here on the blog.